The dare
by Silver Butterfly506
Summary: Naruto dares Shikamaru to get Temari out on a date. It's too bad he sucks at romance, and seems to be blessed with rotten luck. T for mild swearing.
1. Intro

Naruto took a bite of his ramen, trying to think up a good dare for Shikamaru.

"Umm…"

"Hurry up will you? This is so troublesome, I should never have agreed to let you do this," snapped Shikamaru impatiently. "Remember? We were supposed to meet Temari five minutes ago! If we're any later, she'll wring our necks!"

Naruto shivered involuntarily. He knew all too well about Temari's wrath. But then, something in his head clicked. "Hey-that's it!" he shouted.

"What's it? God! Sometimes you're just so…troublesome."

"I dare you to ask Temari out!"

"Let me think about that," said Shikamaru in mock consideration. "Um…NO!"

"Oh come on! It should be easy! You're already friends with her!"

But Shikamaru just shook his head again and began to walk away.

"Wait! Wait! Let's make a deal then. If you can get her out within a week, I'll be-your own personal maid for three days!" Naruto yelled after him in desperation.

_That'll sure be a sight to see_, he thought. Out loud he said, "Yeah. Sure. Fine. Whatever. Just hurry up and finish your ramen!"

"Hold on a minute! If you lose…" Naruto screwed up his eyes, thinking hard. "…You have to walk around Konoha for a whole day dressed up as a maid yelling, 'I can't ask a girl out!'"

_Trust Naruto to think up something like that…_

"Okay! Okay! And for the last time, hurry up and finish your ramen or I'll leave without you."

Naruto tried to cram the remainder of the ramen into his mouth and began to choke. Shikamaru was already beginning to regret that he had agreed as he raced over to help.

_It'll be fine_, he assured himself as he performed the Hemlock Maneuver on Naruto. _What could possibly go wrong?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Our note**: Oh, heh heh, yeah. We spelled Heimlich Maneuver wrong. Whoops. I guess we're idiots :P Thanks for being the first to point that out **encyser**. If you'll let us make an excuse, we originally used the correct spelling but the computer kept on changing it, and we kept on changing it back, but it's an automatic thing, so we gave up and decided to change it back later, but we forgot. Anyways, onward with the story!

---

Shikamaru walked down the street with a magazine buried in his face. The magazine was a shade of hot pink with black letterings, 'What girls like.'

"Hmm, girls like pink gifts…I never knew that," he mumbled, nearly walking into a pole. "Maybe I should get her something like that."

He thought of Temari and pictured what her face would look like if he ever tried to give her something pink. She would punch him for sure. He quickly abandoned that plan and moved to the second tip.

"Writing a romantic poem for your special girl is just the thing to win her over," he read. "Yeah. I could do that. It's not too troublesome."

Shikamaru rolled up the magazine but held on to it so he could consult it later, and sat under a large shady tree in the park with a notebook and pen at hand.

He sat like that for a while, pen posed over the clean white sheet of paper, but nothing came to him. And he found himself getting constantly distracted by the clouds floating overheard. Finally, he admitted defeat and looked to the magazine for a suggestion.

"My dearest love, your eyes twinkle like the morning sun…" he copied from the page. Then rolled it up tightly again so he wouldn't copy down the whole poem. He wanted to write it down himself.

"What rhymes with sun? Crun? Nun? Bun?" he muttered.

He added another line to his poem, and read it out loud. "My dearest love, your eyes twinkle like the morning sun. Thank goodness you are not a nun. Someday let's go and have some buns...I think that's enough."

Carefully, he ripped it out, folded it in half, and stuffed it in his pocket. He checked back to the magazine list. "Pink stuff…poem…rose. No, I don't have a rose, I should get her a rose."

Shikamaru ran all the way to Ino's flower shop.

"Ino! D'you have a rose?"

Ino didn't look up from her own magazine, and just pointed to thick bunches of roses in colorful vases off to the side.

"So, can I have one red rose?" he asked, checking his magazine.

She sighed and eased one red rose from one of the bouquets, smacking her gum loudly. "One dollar please." (Yeah, we're using American money since we don't know how yens work)

Shikamaru dug through his pockets, only to find ten cents. "Hey Ino. Can I have a discount?"

"No."

"Why not? I'm on your team aren't I?"

"N-O."

"Oh come on Ino!"

She didn't respond and only blew a large pink bubble.

"Okay. Fine! What can I buy for ten cents?"

Ino put down her magazine on the counter and bent over to shift through the large trashcan behind her. She pulled out a single wilted red rose and waved it in front of his face.

"Don't you have anything better?"

"Nope."

"God damn! You're so troublesome woman," Shikamaru grumbled. But he gave her his money, and she wrapped the rose in tissue paper.

"So who's this for?" she asked, showing interest in him for the first time.

Shikamaru gazed at the gossip-queen doubtfully. If he told her, then Ino would tell everyone. But if he didn't tell her, she would make something up and still tell everyone.

"I -uh- this is, for...a friend? Yeah! For a friend! That's it! He wants to give his girlfriend a flower, but he didn't have time to come here himself," he said nervously.

"Oh. So what's your friend's name?"

_Damn you Ino!_

"Uh..." Shikamaru looked around for something and his eyes landed outside of the window behind her where the heads of all the hokages' were. "Naruto," he invented, thinking about his dream to become the next hokage.

"I see."

To his relief, Ino picked up her magazine, and did not question him further. He let out a long breath, and got out of there.

Once outside, he looked to the magazine again. "Oh crap!" he groaned.

The magazine read, "_Kneel down and place the rose in your mouth. Wait five seconds and then hand the rose to your special girl. Then read your romantic poem out loud to her."_

There were even several colorful illustrated pictures demonstrating each step. With a different boy and girl in each box. But the animated characters all seemed be in some sort of seashore scenery under the moonlight.

_Damn they look stupid! _

But he was Shikamaru Nara, and he was not going to back down from a dare. He may be lazy, but he had his pride after all. But it took all he had to walk over to Temari's place and up her porch.

He rang the doorbell two times, and got on one knee waiting for someone to come. He unwrapped the rose and tried to put it into his mouth. Shikamaru cried out in pain as the thorns cut into his lip.

"Ow! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" he yelled, dropping the rose and poem instinctively. Blood trickled down his mouth as he ran for it.


	3. Chapter 3

Temari, Sakura, Naruto, and Shikamaru met at the Korean Barbeque for lunch. As they ordered their foods, Temari spoke up, more to Sakura than to anyone else.

"I think someone was stalking me last night."

"WHAT?" Three different voices yelled in unison.

Now that she had everyone's attention, she continued, "Yeah. Someone rang the doorbell, but when I answered no one was there." She paused dramatically, then continued, "There was only a threat note, a dead rose, and…blood."

Shikamaru's jaw dropped, but luckily for him, everyone else were having similar reactions, and did not notice the look of horror on his face.

"It was _not _a threat note!" he started to protest, but then shut his mouth as he realized what he had said. But at that moment, Sakura gave a little shriek, so no one seemed to hear.

"Oh my god Temari!" she yelped. "That's so scary! Do you know who did it?"

"No," she replied, dipping a finger into her tea. "But I'll find them, and when I do, I'll tear open their throats."

Shikamaru gulped, and ran a finger over his throat a bit nervously.

"Hey! Can I see the threat note?" Naruto asked. "Maybe it's someone we know."

_Damn! I bet Naruto'll recognize my handwriting! _

He thought of grabbing the note and running for it as Temari took the folded paper out of her pocket, but then that would make it clear he did it. So he stayed put and watched Naruto anxiously.

"My dearest love, your eyes twinkle like the morning sun. Thank goodness you are not a nun. Someday let's go get some buns," Naruto read.

Shikamaru cringed. _Did I write that? It's horrible._

"It's horrible!" Sakura said in disgust, as if she was agreeing with him. "But it didn't sound too much like a threat note to me."

"Well, '_someday let's go get some buns'_ sounds pretty much like, go on a date with me or else," Naruto spoke up. "But I don't recognize the handwriting, so it's not someone we know."

_Whew, I knew he was too stupid._

They spent the whole afternoon arguing about whether it was a threat not or not, while Shikamaru just picked at his food.

"Hey Shikamaru, what happened to your lip?" asked Temari in concern while they waited for the bill.

They had been arguing again, this time about who would pay for lunch, when Shikamaru brought attention to his lip by touching it lightly.

"I...fell," he explained somewhat lamely. But they all seemed to buy it.

"Oh, no wonder you weren't eating a lot. It must hurt," remarked Sakura.

"Yeah, it hurts a lot."

He looked at his watch which read 3:49, and since the magazine stands closed at four, he should probably get going.

"I really have to go now," Shikamaru said, standing up.

"Oh, but aren't you going to stay for dessert? I'll buy."

"No, my lip hurts too much," Shikamaru simpered, trying to put on a pitiful expression. He said goodbye to them, and went to the nearest magazine stand, where he bought a new magazine called, 'What girls like 2'. But first, he crumpled up his old magazine, and threw it away.

"Girls like perfume," he read. "What's perfume?"

There was a picture of a small fancy bottle with amber liquid on the page, but how was he supposed to find that?

"What's perfume?" he asked the old man running the stand.

"It's something that smells nice and sprays."

"Oh." He immediantly thought of the cans he had at home that his mom sprayed in rooms. "I think I know what it is."

Shikamaru knew that they sold it in stores, but he was broke. He had spent the last of his money on the rose and magazines.

_Great, what now? This is so troublesome..._

Well, he did have plenty at home. And his mom barely used them anymore. So what if he just got one from home? It wouldn't cost anything, and his parents probably wouldn't miss it.

As he walked towards his house, he tried to remember where his mom put them. He distantly remembered her attacking his room with one that smelled like apples a few months ago, and then storing it in the closet where she kept her cleaning supplies.

_Shikamaru, I've gone shopping. Will try to be back by dinner. _

_-Mom_

Shikamaru read the note and celebrated. His dad was away on a mission, and his mother wasn't home. This would be easy.

Jerking open the closet he found the row of the different colored cans on a shelf. He got them all down and then sat cross-legged on the floor smelling each of them.

One smelled like apples, one smelled like melons, one smelled like cinnamon, another smelled like his dad's colone, and the last one smelled like roses.

He liked the one that smelled like apples, but it was nearly all used up, so he put it back in the closet. He disliked the one that smelled like his dad's colone and put that back too. The cinnamon one caused a burning sensation in his lungs and caused him to violently cough a few times, so he put that back as well.

Now it was between melon and roses, he liked both, but the one that smelled like roses was full all the way, so he put the melon back and took the rose.

"_Tie a thin ribbon around the perfume, that will give it an elegant touch_," the magazine read.

But they didn't have a ribbon anywhere in the house. So in the end, Shikamaru cut a long strip from his mother's white scarf and tied it somewhat clumsily around the can.

Now to find Temari. Shikamaru was pretty sure she was probably back at her house. He put the perfume under his shirt so no one would see, and went over to Temari's place.

The doorbell, he noticed, wasn't working so he knocked hard on the wooden door.

The door flew open with an angry-looking Temari holding her fan menecingly. When she caught sight of Shikamaru, she smiled, and threw her fan behind her.

"Sorry," she said, grinning at Shikamaru's alarmed expression. "I thought you might be the stalker."

She pointed to the ground where Shikamaru saw what remained of his blood the night before. The white porch had beem scrubbed clean, but the droplets of blood left circles of pink stains.

"Oh." He was beginning to lose his confidence.

_Okay, breathe. Breathe Shikamaru. She doesn't know you were the "stalker" and she'll never find out._

"I-here," he took the perfume from under his shirt and handed it to her.

Temari looked at it for a moment, then said, "Um...Shikamaru? Why'd you get me air spray?"

_Is there a difference between perfume and air spray? Oh damn! You are so stupid! And you call yourself a genius? Quick! Make something up!_

"Yeah, my mom thought you might need it," he said, thinking fast. "For your house. It smells nice."

"Ok, I thought it might be something like that," she smiled at him again, though this time, a little wearily. "Bye. See you tomorrow."

She closed the door, and Shikamaru tore the magazine in half.

_Hell! I have got to get a new brand of magazine. _


	4. Chapter 4

"So…Temari tells me you gave her something yesterday," Sakura smirked, sitting down on the bench next to him.

"Shut up Sakura," Shikamaru said automatically, not taking his eyes off of his new magazine.

"You like her, don't you?" she asked slyly. "You're trying to woo her with gifts, aren't you?"

Shikamaru didn't respond and tried his best to ignore her.

"Well then, you've got to be more romantic! I mean, air spray? You got her air spray?" scoffed Sakura.

"Don't be so troublesome Sakura! I thought it was perfume!" Shikamaru said defensively.

That apparently was the wrong thing to say.

"You thought it was perfume?" shrieked Sakura in laughter, green eyes bugging out of her head. "Perfume? Could you get any stupider? If you keep on going like you are now, she's going to think you're insane!"

"She thinks I'm insane?" asked Shikamaru worriedly.

"No. Not yet. But she's going to unless you really do something that will…that will really send sparks to her heart," Sakura sighed almost dreamily. "Which is why you need my help."

He thought about it. Sakura _was _a girl. And the advice from the magazines weren't working. And Naruto never said he could get help…

"Ok," he said cautiously. "Let's say for a moment I want your help. What would you have me do?"

"Temari likes music you know. So I would set you up with a guitar and have you sing romantic songs to her in the firelight…"

"But I don't know how to play the guitar."

"All you have to do is play simple chords over and over again while you're singing. I'll teach you."

Shikamaru stared at Sakura for the longest time, and finally nodded. "Fine, you can help me."

"Yes!" Sakura yelled in triumph.

She looked to see Shikamaru going back to his magazine and snatched it from him. "'Tips on how to ask a girl out'?" she read, "This is such a lame magazine Shikamaru, you have to lose this."

She tossed it into the trashcan next to them.

"Hey! I spent my allowance money on that!"

"You don't need it anymore Shikamaru. You have me now. Come on, I have a guitar at my place."

---

"Sakura, why'd you bring me out here?" Temari asked, shivering in the cold. She rubbed her arms for warmth as she followed Sakura into her backyard.

She gasped a little when she saw what Sakura had set up hours before. There were two wooden chairs facing each other with a small fire in the middle.

Sakura grabbed her shoulders and steered her into one of the chairs.

"Just wait there." And she went to get Shikamaru.

"Temari, Shikamaru's going to sing for you," Sakura explained, sitting Shikamaru down on the other chair. She handed him the guitar and whispered, "Good luck."

Temari blushed slightly as they stared at each other awkwardly. Shikamaru took a deep breath and tried to remember what Sakura taught him.

"_Mon Cherry Jettie me_," he started singing.

"Shikamaru, it's _Mon chere Jet'aime_," hissed Sakura from the sidelines. "Not _Mon Cherry Jettie me_."

He stopped suddenly, unable to remember the rest of the french words.

_Keep singing Shikamaru_, he told himself, _Make up the lyrics_

"La la la la la la la la la la la la la la," he sang in different keys, strumming the guitar in a chord that didn't match.

"He's losing it," Sakura groaned as Shikamaru continued to sing. "It's like he's singing opera." But the weird thing was, Temari seemed to like it.

She was smiling, cheeks flushed, and looking at Shikamaru as if he was the most romantic thing.

"Laaaaa!" Shikamaru finished on the high C.

_Okay, now this is the part where she says she hated my song and then walks away_, Shikamaru braced himself.

"Oh Shikamaru, did you make up that song for me?"

_That didn't sound like someone who hated my song. Maybe she liked it._

"Uh, yes. I made it up for you."

"I'll leave you two alone to chat." Sakura waved and flashed Shikamaru a thumbs up and went inside to make them some hot chocolate.

She handed them each a mug and listened to them from the back steps.

"That was really sweet of you Shikamaru," Temari said shyly, sipping from her drink. "I really liked your song."

"Thanks." _Ha! I made Temari blush._

"Oh! Guess what?" Temari asked brightly.

"Hmm?" Shikamaru took a mouthful of the cocoa.

"I found out who my stalker was."

Shikamaru accidentally spat out the cocoa and sprayed Temari in the face.

"Oops. Sorry Temari. Now, who's your stalker?"

Temari wiped off her face with the back of her hand and stood up. "Never mind about that. Um, this was really nice of you Shikamaru. I'll see you later." And she was gone.

"Smooth. Very smooth Romeo," Sakura said sarcastically. "You really blew it."

"What? I just-"

"Goodbye Shikamaru. I'll have something thought up by tomorrow, but right now, I have this sudden urge to punch you…"

"Alright! Alright! I'm going!" Shikamaru set down his mug and walked out of there as fast as he could. "Geez, girls are so sensitive and troublesome."

His mug was hurled through the backyard and hit the back of his head with a dull thunk.

"I heard that!" He heard Sakura shout as he closed the gate behind him.

---

**Silver Butterfly506**: If you ever want to know what Shikamaru's song sounded like, close your eyes, plunk random keys on the piano, and sing "la". Special thanks to Silver Gingko for giving us the idea for part of this chapter and adding in some parts over the phone. Much appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

Since he had only three days left, Shikamaru was starting to get desperate. So despite what Sakura said about the magazines, he got a new one.

"A drop of jealously is like a drop of poison," Shikamaru read from his new magazine. "How can I get Temari jealous?"

A light bulb appeared above his head and he sprinted to where he knew Ino would be.

"Ino!" he shouted

"What Shikamaru? I'm in the middle of helping a customer," Ino said irritably.

"Ino, could you do me a favor?"

Ino thanked the customer and escorted her out. Then, she turned to Shikamaru, with her eyes narrowing.

"What do I get out of helping _you_?"

"I'll give you 1000 yen."

_Shit_, thought Shikamaru, _Where am I supposed to get 1000 yen?_

"Like _you_ can ever have _that _much money." scoffed Ino.

"Fine! How about 500 yen?"

_Ack! I don't have that much either._

"Whatever Shikamaru, I'll do whatever you want as long as you don't ask for too much of me."

"Okay! Thanks Ino! You're not as troublesome as I thought. I owe you one!"

"So that's it?" Ino asked, feeling a bit annoyed." All you want me to do is to pretend to be your girlfriend?"

"Well, yeah."

They walked along the streets near Temari's house, holding hands as Ino insisted. But there was no sign of her anywhere.

At the moment, Temari happened to be at her house chatting with Sakura. While talking, Temari happened to look out of the window as Shikamaru and Ino passed. Anger burned inside of her like never before at the sight of them holding hands and laughing. She felt a sudden urge to throttle the two of them and leave them to rot on the streets.

"What's wrong?" asked Sakura in concern, seeing the look on Temari's face.

Temari jerked unpleasantly from her daydreams of killing Ino and dating Shikamaru in her place. She nodded her head out of the window, and gave Sakura room to look.

"Look at them," hissed Temari, grinding her teeth together painfully.

Sakura obliged and looked. The sight made her angry as well. Ino and Shikamaru were holding hands like chums and laughing like a bunch of idiots.

"Is that-?"

"Yes, it's Shikamaru and Ino," Temari cut in dryly, unable to bear the sight any longer and looking away.

"Well, they _are_ teammates, maybe they're just friends," Sakura suggested halfheartedly.

"You mean really, really _good _friends."

"It could be a misunderstanding," said Sakura, a fake smile on her face.

"Yeah right."

"Man," Sakura sighed, breaking the act, "I thought he liked you."

The hurt look on Temari's face made her want to take her words back.

"Can we like not talk about this right now?"

Sakura nodded, and started to talk loudly about the weather while Temari only half-listened, trying to get the image of Shikamaru and Ino out of her mind.

Temari thought about what she saw the whole day so much, Sakura found it rather annoying. She would be talking to her, and then Temari's face would get this dreamy quality to it, and she would know that Temari wasn't listening anymore. Until the point where it bothered her too much to ignore, and Sakura brought up the subject again.

Sakura suggested that Temari tried confronting Shikamaru and asking him, and in a flash, Temari was gone looking for Shikamaru.

Temari walked around Kohana, keeping her eye out for Shikamaru. It was a good thing that she seemed to run into him often. And soon enough, she spotted him with his hand in his pockets and a bored expression on his face. When Temari was sure Ino was nowhere around, she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and yanked him in an alley. She then grabbed the front and pulled him closer to her face.

She honestly wasn't that mad until Shikamaru opened his big mouth.

"Yo. What the heck? Personal space" said Shikamaru.

Temari snapped. And she heard herself screaming.

"You damn bastard! You led me on! I cannot believe you! I thought that you _liked _me. What is your problem! Holding hands with that stupid blond bitch! I cannot believe that I fell for you! I mean what the heck! Am I that dumb! You! You probably did this with other girls too. Haven't you? HAVEN'T YOU? You're just another fuckin' playboy. You have no idea how much I want to beat the crap out of you right now!"

Shikamaru listened to every word and horror crept onto his face.

"So talk you bastard! Talk!"

He opened his mouth, but found himself speechless as he gazed up at her.

"Could…could you let go of me?" he asked meekly.

Temari let out a bellow of rage, but released him. It was then Shikamaru realized his mistake.

"No…wait …listen to me…I-" began Shikamaru

"No! I listened to you long enough!"

With that said, Temari punched him in the stomach. She watched, while Shikamaru fell to the ground, clutched his stomach.

"Serves you right."

But as Temari said this, her throat was filled up with sadness, and she turned away.

"Damn it!" cursed Shikamaru. What had he done wrong? He did everything the magazine said so. Shikamaru quickly took out the magazine from his pocket and reread it. He then saw and read the small print "The jealous act may not work on certain types of females."

"Aw! Damn!"

He really liked Temari. He loved everything about her.

_So what do I do now?_


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto and never will….lawyers back away………

The following day, Shikamaru decided that the best way to resolve the problem would be by apologizing to Temari. Nervously, he walked up the steps to her house and knocked softly. While he waited for someone to answer, he rehearsed what he was going to say. He needed to be cautious because knowing Temari, anything could set her off.

_Dear heart, I am so very, very sorry _thought Shikamaru _No that's too cheesy …_

He tried another approach.

_Yo! Dudet! I'm frickin' sorry…That's not formal enough. _

Then, he tried the regular way.

_Sorry. _He froze and repeated it in his head _sorry. _

_That's perfect. I'm such a genius. _

The door flew open and there stood Sakura.

"What do you want!" she said coldly, closing the door behind her.

"I'm here to apologize to Temari. Now let me in." demanded Shikamaru

"First, you have to tell me if you're really with Ino."

"I'm not. It's just an act to get Temari jealous."

"You…you…IDIOT!" Sakura exploded, "That is the worst thing to do to a girl!"

"How was I supposed to know? I'm a guy." Shikamaru defended himself.

"Well…you're a pretty stupid guy."

"No shit. Now will you let me in?"

"Fine."

Rather reluctantly, Sakura opened the door. Before she did, she hissed, "Watch your tongue up there."

He followed Sakura up the stairs, dreading every moment. Sakura led him to Temari's bedroom and then left him to his doom.

He saw Temari on the window seat, starring outside with her arms crossed.

"Ummm…Temari…I'm very sorry…I was stupid to follow the guidelines of a magazine."

Temari turned to face him, eyes glaring daggers. She got a hold of the nearest thing she could reach – which happened to be a heavy vase- and threw it at him. He ducked and the vase hit the wall behind him, shattering into a rainfall of shards of green

"Temari-" he started, but that was as far as he got before he dodged a thick paper back book.

Once Temari got started she rarely ever stopped so she continued to throw everything within her reach at him.

"By gods Temari, please stop it!" he yelped "I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry!"

He covered his face, but then discovered that objects had stopped flying at him. He hesitantly uncovered his face to see Temari glowering at him, breathing heavily.

"I don't accept your apology, NOW GET OUT!"

To make her point, she threw another book at him. Shikamaru would have stayed and tried to apologize again, but when she hurled her lamp at him and attempted to pick up her desk, he figured things were too out of hand, and rushed out of the room.

---

Shikamaru was on a new mission. To persuade Naruto to call off the bet. He found him easily at the ramen shop, where he was stuffing his face as usual.

"Naruto, there's something I need to talk to you about."

Naruto looked up at him, a few noodles dangling from his mouth.

"Yeah, wha' abountt?" he asked thickly, chewing.

"Huh?"

Naruto swallowed his mouthful. "Yeah, what about?"

"About that dare…."

"You're chickening out."

"I feel like it's unfair…"

"You're chickening out."

"I'm not sure I want to do it anymore..."

"You're chickening out."

"When I agreed to it, I wasn't thinking straight..."

"You're chickening out."

"Yes," Shikamaru gave up finally "I'm chickening out."

"Well, you can't," stated Naruto matter-of-factly

"Why not?"

"Shikamaru, you should know why not," sighed Naruto, "Because I said so."

"But I don't want to walk around Konoha dressed as a maid!"

"But I'm looking forward to it," Naruto grinned evilly

Shikamaru glared at him, but he was honor-bound to the dare until Naruto said it was off. And Naruto obviously, was not going to.

"May you choke to death on your ramen," Shikamaru said with one last glare at him before leaving.

Miraculously, he heard Naruto inhale sharply and start to cough as he left the ramen shop.

_Tomorrow's the last day. Tomorrow's the last day. _He repeated over and over in his brain, wondering what he was going to do.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: We do Naruto. If we did, we would be freakin' rich right now.

* * *

The day had come. Today was his last day to get Temari out on a day. If he failed, his fate of walking around Kohana dressed as a maid would be sealed. **dun, dun, dun – scary music-**

It would be easier if he was actually on speaking terms with Temari, but since their last meeting, he wasn't counting on that.

Every step he took felt heavy with doom as he imagined what a laughing stock he'd be if he had the dress up as a maid. He paced around outside of Temari's house like a worried hen.

No. He wasn't going to back down without a fight. He would try again after he tried apologizing once more. With a new determined air, he marched up the stairs with confidence and knocked hard. He can do this.

Temari didn't answer the door, not that he expected her to. But hefelt faint fromshock when Kankuro opened the door. Shikamaru had been getting used to the idea that Temari was living alone.

"You," growled Kankuro, "I've been waiting for you."

Shikamaru gulped. That didn't sound too friendly.

"Um… hi?" he said weakly.

"You broke my sister's heart, you damn bastard!"

"Well, techinically, I didn't break her heart," squeaked Shikamaru in fright, inching away as Kankuro stepped forward menecingly.

You're the reason why she extended her stay in Kohana! And you go off cheating on her! I'm freakin' glad I decided to visit, 'cause now, I CAN RIP YOUR FACE OFF!"

Gasping like a fish at Kankuro's threat, he found himself sputtering.

"I – I didn't know…. I…uh…bye!"

He ran off as fast as he could as Kankuro slammed the door and ran after him. It was a good thing that Shikamaru knew his way around Kohana better than Kankuro and lost him quickly.

"Well so much for that," Shikamaru sighed looking back at the house. "I've got to get her alone somehow."

* * *

**Coke: Yo! Coke here! One of the two writers of this fic. This is my little note of randomness, so you don't have to read this. But recently, I went to another countrty when I saw these little Naruto figures. I thought they would make a great souviner, but when I went closer, I saw that they were SO FREAKIN' UGLY. I'm serious. Kakashi had yellow skin, Sasuke looked like a vampire, Rock Lee was wearing hot pink, Shikamaru resmembled the Grim Reaper, and Naruto...you DO NOT want to hear about Naruto. It's not even funny. Now their good images are ruined forever! I totally hate the person who made those. The only good one was of Gaara, which I got for Sprite. Anyways...**

* * *

"Sakura, I need your help," Shikamaru said urgently.

He had cornered her as she had come out of the library, her arms full of books. And now, his fate rested on Sakura.

"What kind of help?" Sakura askedv suspicously, only the top of her forehead visible from the tall stack of books.

"Can you lure Temari out of the house and into this spot ten minutes from now?"

"I guess. What for?"

"I need to apologize to her again."

Sakura paused, and then to his relief, said, "Fine. But you do realize if you mess this up..."

"Yes. Yes. I know. Kankuro would kill me."

"Well, I was going to say Temari will never speak to you again, but that's true too. Gaara wanted to come down here as well, but he's too busy," Sakura added a little nastily

"Oh… did you tell her that Ino and I aren't going out?"

"No… must have slipped my mind."

"You were supposed to tell her."

"Tell her yourself. It's _your_ problem. You should be glad I'm even doing this for you!" snapped Sakura huffily. She set down her books on the steps, and ran off, pink hair streaming behind her.

Shikamaru walked back and forth, thinking how to apologize to Temari. Knowing Temari when she was mad, anything could set her off, so he needed to be careful.

Suddenly, he heard quick footsteps and Sakura's voice "This way,"

When Sakura had come to the clearing, Shikamaru could see Temari behind her. Temari and Shikamaru stared at each other for what it seemed like eternity. Shikamaru opened his mouth but no words came out. _What is wrong with me? _He thought. _I can't talk! I'm spacing out!. _He opened his mouth, and then closed it again. Whenever he gathered what little courage he had left, he would look at Temari, and it would all evaporate. Sakura allowed two more minutes of this before saying,

"Ahem…Shikamaru? Is there anything you would _like _to say to Temari?"

"Uh, yeah," he managed to gasp out, unnerved by Temari's stare. "I'm very sorry for causing you pain and suffering. Would-"

Shikamaru stopped and choked his words. He couldn't say them. He couldn't say;_ "Would you go out with me?" _It was that simple. So simple but he couldn't do it. All he said was "Ino."

Temari's faced tuned from puzzlement to anger at the word, "Ino". She said, fighting back tears, **(Yes, yes. We are well aware that Temari is not the type to "fight back tears" or even cry, but it adds to the drama, neh?) **"Fine. I thought you were going to say sorry to me! If you care for Ino so much, go comfort her then! I don't care! I hate you! You stupid bastard!"

With that said, Temari took off with Sakurapausing to reload her arms with her books and then running after her. Sakura looked back at him once with an odd mixture of pity and exasperation before disappearing around the corner.

Shikamaru slumped down against the wall. He screwed up. Saying "Ino" was the dumbest thing he had ever done...besides letting Naruto give him a dare. He blew his only chance and now suffered a cruel fate that awaited him. The whole world seemed to laugh at him as bad luck continued to favor him.

* * *

"Oh, Temari. He didn't mean to say Ino." said Sakura, patting her back. "He wanted to say sorry and tell you that he wasn't with Ino. He was just with her to make you jealous."

"Really?" asked Temari, sniffing a little.

"Really. And he wanted to ask you out, but you know how guys are...they're idiots."

"Heh, tell me about it," muttered Temari, brushing the last of her tears from her face.

"Yes, I am. You should go find him tomorrow. You know. Talk about it. Hear him out."

"Okay," she said, then chuckled and added, "You know Sakura. You should really be a theripist or something."

* * *

His life was going to be over. His life as the coolest ninja (**cough, yeah right, cough**) was over. He would have to move out of Kohana and live his life as a hermit. Never experiencing the life he could have spent with Temari. Oh, the cruel fate was upon him.

He brushed his teeth and went to sleep. But he couldn't. He tossed and turned, thinking all the screw ups he made though out the week. He was doomed forever, as a laughing stock. _A LAUGHING STOCK FOREVER! _

_Nooooooooo! _His brained screamed.

Special Thanks

To

Silver Gingko

(who we know will be mad at Coke unless we write this)

For letting us use our signature phase

"Rip your face off"


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. If we did own Naruto, Orochimaru would be dead, Naruto would be next hokage, and all our favorite pairings would be together. Plus we wouldn't work on this story anymore.

**Coke:** I had the time of my life discribing Shika in the outfit. :) lolz

**Sprite:** Yeah, I can just imagine him in my head.

**Silverbutterfly506: We are thinking of a new story after this one, about Itachi and some girl. Would you guys, as readers, want ItachixOC, or ItachixSakura, please vote for one or the other. We really need your opinion.**

**Coke: **And thank you **Kantwon** for your fabulous review on chappie 7. Sprite here **-glares at Sprite- **didn't want any randomness from me. At least, someone liked it. Thank you for supporting me.

**Sprite: **Hey! I just thought it was pretty pointless

**Coke: **But I wanted to speak my mind. And someone likes it! So there! **-sticks out tongue-**

**Sprite: **I'm sure **-sticks tongue back-**...thanks for the Gaara souv. though.

**Coke:** Origionally, we wrote a lot more on this chapter, but we felt really sorry for Shika in his maid outfit that we toned it down a bit, sorry if you're disappointed.

* * *

The grinning blonde crept up to the sleeping boy quietly. He readied himself, took a deep breath, and yelled, "Yo! Shikamaru! Time to get up!" in his ear. 

Shikamaru only stirred in his sleep and mumbled, "Temari, have you seen our kids?"

"Huh?" Naruto said blankly. He put down the paper bag he had in his arms and knelt closer to Shikamaru.

"Have you seen our kids Temari?" Shikamaru repeated, smiling slightly in his sleep. "I could only find six of them."

Naruto paled a little. "Six?" he whispered hoarsely. Then he split into a wide, evil grin. It was wrong to take advantage of the weak, but this was too much to resist.

"No dear," Naruto said in his most girly voice. When Shikamaru didn't respond, he blew on his face.

"It's cold, lets go sit together over there alone," he sighed finally.

Naruto continued his girly voice. "Okay, teehee."

Then out of no where, Shikamaru's hand grabbed Naruto and pulled him closer. He tried to wiggle free, but Shikamaru had an iron grip.

"Man, he's like those old perverts," he muttered, struggling in his grasp as Shikamaru pulled him closer to him.

Naruto couldn't stand smelling Shikamaru's smelly breath and wanted out. Plus, this position wasn't the most comfortable in the world.

"FIRE!" he yelled loudly.

Shikamaru jerked awake instantly to see a pair of bright blue eyes.

"Hi there," Naruto smiled.

"Eeeyaaaa!" Shikamaru yelled out, kicked him off of his bed, and sat up tangled in his covers.

"How the fuck did you get into my house?" he shouted, throwing his pillow at him.

"Easy, your mom let me in," Naruto replied breezily, dodging the pillow. "Hey," he added when he saw that Shikamaru was still glaring at him, "You're the one who put your arms around me while dreaming about marriage life with Temari."

Shikamaru blushed a little and got up too. "Well, why are you here anyway?"

"I'm here to give you..."Naruto trailed off dramatically."...Your new maid outfit!"

He dumped the contents of the bag to the floor, and Shikamaru backed away in horror.

"No, please!" he begged, eyes wide. "Anything but that!"

Naruto shook his head. "You lost the bet Shikamaru. Face the consequences."

Shikamaru climbed back into bed and cowered into the far corner as Naruto advanced towards him.

* * *

**Coke: Yay! I got a supporter from my randomness! I thank thee Kantwon, for thy review. For all you randomness haters out there (cough Sprite cough) you can just skip this and go on with the story. I had a dream the other night where Sprite married Naruto. Weird. I know. I went with Kiba. Anyways. I think they would actually go pretty well with each other. If opposites attract. See? Naruto's loud. Sprite's quiet. Naruto is annoying. Sprite is...not as annoying. He's short. She's taller than he is. Naruto speaks his mind. Sprite keeps to herself. Naruto rushes into a fight when he's mad. Sprite quietly accepts it and plans revenge. Perfect. Ne? Right now, I'm typing as fast as I can. Sprite is definately gonna kill me when she sees this. No. Scratch that. She'll destroy me! I beg you, all my randomness loving people, to UNITE! And remember me when I'm gone.**

**Somewhere far, far away, Sprite sneezes.**

**MAY KITTIES RULE THE WORLD! (signature phrase) **

**-Coke**

* * *

"Damn you, Naruto." Shikamaru said as he stepped out of the bathroom in…in…in…a FRENCH MAID OUTFIT!** (Nooooo! fan girls weep)**

Naruto gawked at the sight for a moment then started the roll of the floor clutching his stomach, laughing.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You look so stupid!"

When he stopped laughing, he looked at Shikamaru's feet. He frowned.

"You're not wearing the high heels."

"There is no way I am going to wear those things." replied Shikamaru coldly.

"But you've got to! It's part of the outfit! Remember the bet." Naruto waggled his finger.

Shikamaru scowled. "I hate you."

But he went back into the bathroom to fetch the shoes and put them on.

"No, wait! You're missing something," Naruto said thoughtfully when he looked him over.

"Hmm, I wonder," Shikamaru said sarcastically, "Maybe it's...I don't know...my gender? My dignity? My manhood?"

Naruto ignored him and began circling him. At last, he snapped his fingers and cried, "I know! I know what you're missing! Come on! Ask me what!"

"Enlighten me."

"What you need is make-up! Yes! That's perfect!"

"You're joking," Shikamaru gasped in disbelief. "Insane. That's what you are! Have you no pity?"

"Nope!" Naruto laughed cheerily. Grabbing a hold of his arm, he ordered Shikamaru to take him to where his mom kept her make-up.

Twenty minutes later, Shikamaru was fully transformed to Naruto's satisfaction. He had on a frilly while blouse, with a black apron trimmed with lace, complete with some net stockings and blood red high heels. He even had on those stupid little hat things also trimmed with lace on his head.

Naruto had gone overboard and had powdered his face until it was ghost-white. His lips were now a deep crimson, and the thick eyeliner made him look like a raccoon. Naruto had even twisted up his pony tail into a neat bun.

Shikamaru had never more wanted to throttle Naruto when he handed him a small gong and ordered him to bang it before he yelled.

And then Naruto had dragged Shikamaru outside, and there Shikamaru began on his side of the bet.

* * *

BANG! 

"I CAN'T ASK A GIRL OUT!"

BANG!

"I CAN'T ASK A GIRL OUT!"

BANG

"I CAN'T ASK A GIRL OUT!"

_I'm going to get Naruto for this thought_ Shikamaru as he continued chanting. He cringed when the mallet hit the gong loudly and echoed all over Kohana. He continued to walk, bang, and yell.

Soon, a laughing crowd had gathered into a large passway for Shikamaru in his one-man parade. He gritted his teeth hard and tried and failed to ignore all the pointing and mocking laugher.

Word spread fast, and in a few minutes, Temari and Sakura had squeezed themselves through the crowds to be stunned with shock at the sight.

"Ummm…...What do you think Shikamaru's doing?" asked Sakura.

"I really don't wanna know," Temari muttered as Shikamaru went past.

"I'll tell you what he's doing!" Naruto jumped in from nowhere.

After Sakura punched him for scaring her, they both rounded on him, demanding to know everything.

Naruto explained.

"So that's why Shikamaru attempting to romance you," said Sakura. "It's a dare."

Temari's face slowly colored in anger as she clutched her fists. He had just been as good as using her all that week. She thought he liked her, even if it was a tiny bit, but no, he was just doing it because of a dare.

Sakura looked at Temari worriedly.

"Are you okay?" asked Sakura.

There was no reply, instead Temari pushed though the crowd and ran away. Sakura ran after her, shouting, "Wait! Temari! Wait up!"

"Humph! They always ignore me." mumbled Naruto.

* * *

The day was finally over. It was 7 o'clock. Shikamaru had faced the challenge like a hero. It was grueling. After dinner, he had switched on the t.v, only to see a newscast about a "crazy" boy in a maid outfit striking a gong. He flipped the channel intoKonoha News. At least this channel gave good, honest news and did not concentrate on stupid stories like that... **(text below suggested and written by Lise)**

* * *

**"Welcome to theKonoha News. Today, we have Kyoko reporting on this huge story about a boy in a maid costume. Kyoko?**

**Kyoko: Yes, I'm here Uotani. **

**Uotani: What do you think made this boy do what he did Kyoko?**

**Kyoko: That I do not know. Perhaps it's because of neglection at his home. That can cause a child to behave this way. To get attention.**

**Uotani: Let's see the tape.**

**-Replay of Shikamaru's walk-**

**Kyoko: Uotani, I do know that the boy is a ninja, but his identiy is currently unknown. **

**Uotani: Do you know what he was yelling?**

**Kyoko: It seems it was "I can't ask a girl out"**

**Uotani: -snickers- So it seems he's a loser too. **

**Uotani: Even if this is a cry for attention...it sure the hell is funny! BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!**

**Kyoko: -joins in on the laugher and begins banging on the desk laughing-"**

* * *

Shikamaru, face red with humiliation turned off the t.v and stuffed his maid outfit into his closet. 

Like any normal day, he stretched out on his bed and listened to some music.

_It'll be fine_, he kept telling himself. _It's going to blow over someday. It has to!_

He jerked his head up when his door opened. There stood Temari looking very mad.

"You bastard! You only pretended to like because of that stupid dare! I was going to say sorry but now I'm not! I knew you were the stalker! I HATE YOU! You were totally-."

He couldn't hear her. He frowned and made wild motions to his ears. Temari saw that he was listening to music and she yanked the earplugs out of his ear.

"Hey, Temari. Long time no see." he said.

Temari's face flushed with anger.

"WERE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME!" she screamed.

"Huh? Well, not really. See, I had the volume up really high-"

"UGH!" Temari yelled in disgust. She stomped out of his room.

"Wait, Temari!" he called as he sprinted out to follow her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

He stopped running at the entrance way of his house.

"Well….that certainly went well," he sighed. What a rotten day. And this was happening to many times for his liking. Him, saying something wrong, and Temari, running away before he could explain.

"No kidding," Sakura sighed from his side.

"Geez Sakura.Where'd you come from?"

"I happened to be listening in to what Temari was saying. You could hear it from a block away she was so loud."

"What did she say?"

"She said that you were a bastard and she was sorry but not anymore and that she knew you were the stalker and she thought you liked her and other stuff…I forgot."

"She knew I was the stalker?" Shikamaru cried in horror.

"It wasn't that hard to figure out. Kind of obvious really."

"My life is officially over."

"No, not really. I think your life ended when you walked around in that maid outfit today."

"You saw?"

"Who didn't?"

Shikamaru groaned and sank to the ground.

Sakura turned away but then looked back and said "Words of advice, Shikamaru, go and talk to Temari."

"I was planning to."

"Then stop planning! Go tomorrow and that's an order!" Sakura snapped. Then she too had gone off into the night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Silverbutterfly506:** Yay! Second to last chapter! The last chapter pretty short, but we think it's sweet.

**Disclaimer:** We do not own Naruto. We would abolutley love to, so we can twist it to our own evil plots, but we can't

**(blah, blah, blah)**-Coke's little comments

* * *

Since his life was practically over from the embarrassmentthat "incident"he decided that he had nothing to lose. He was going to do…nothing. At least not until someone told him to. So, he just sulked around his house all day. 

Finally, after he had not left a house in a week, his mother yelled at him to get out.

"Alright….I'm going….I'm going." he grumbled.

He flung the door open and left the house.

He had coached himself for days until he had felt ready to take on any sorts of toture such as name-calling.

He walked around Kohana, hands shoved in his pockets, head bowed low, and waited. But he heard nothing.

Everyone seemed to have forgoten that he was a famous known cross-dresser. Or maybe Naruto had put so much make-up on him, no one had recognized him as the cross-dresser.

_Whew _he sighed with relief.

Now he was kind of bored. But not so bored that he would apologize to Temari and ask her out or anything. It would take him hours to build up that much confidence.

He walked around Kohana starring at magazines and all the little vendors. His eyes happened to linger innocently at the cover of Itcha Itcha Paradise, before continuing on.

Shikamaru knew that he should apologize, but he couldn't think of a way to do it without freaking out on the spot...

He suddenly felt a rush of hunger.

_I can't think on an empty stomach. Maybe I should ask Temari is she'll have lunch with me. Yeah! Now... the matter of asking her._

He walkeda few steps toward where he lived,but he felt disheartened. All negative thoughts flowed into his brain. _What if she says no? What if Kankuro shows up or even worse Gaara? What if?...What if?..._

He then got a flash of brilliance. _What if I got some guy to do it for me? _

He dashed out of the neighborhood and ran into a little kid bouncing a rubber ball in the streets. _Yes! She can't say no to a little girl. _

"Hey you there! Little kid! I need a favor."

The girl with orange hair in pigtails gave him a toothy grin, and threw the ball unexpectantly, hard into his chest.

Years of ninja training had not been for nothing. He caught the ball.

"I need a favor," he repeated, throwing the ball over his shoulder

She giggled, and pointed at him. "You're him, aren't you?" she asked shyly.

"I'm who?"

"You're the guy who dressed up as a maid that one day."

"Oh, him. Yeah, I'm him," he said, blushing hard.

"Then I need a favor from you."

"What?"

"I want you for my birthday party!"

Shikamaru did a small take-back. "Huh?"

"You're really funny. You make a good clown. I want you for my party," she giggled again.

He blushed harder. "I'm not a clown!"

She looked up at him with big grey eyes solemly surveying him. "You sure look like it."

_Must...not...punch...little...girl_

"Anyways, about my favor..." he said when he was under control.

"Okay, but only if you do one thing for me."

"Fine. But I refuse to be a clown for you."

"All right then. I want this month's addition of "Humpty dumpty"

"But...that magazine's for little kids!" he sputtered, waving his arms around.

"And I'm a little kid."

Already nervous that Temari would reject him, he was at his wits end. The idea of being caught with a magazine for four-year olds did not improve his mood any either.

"WHAT THE HELL!" screamed Shikamaru **(yeah, a little ooc here)**. Then he remembered too late she was only probably about four, and stammered, "I uh, mean, uh..."

Her smile got bigger. "It's okay, mommy says that all the time."

"Fine! Okay, wait here!" Shaking his head Shikamaru raced home. He knew where he was going to find the magazine, and his stomach was grumbling every few seconds now. He lived next door to an old man who subscribed to Humpty dumpty because of his little kid. He opened his neighbor's mailbox and bingo! There it was. The background was hot pink with advertisments of baby stuff like cribs and dolls were plastered on the cover. Cringing and holding it at arm's length, he ran all the way to the girl and thrust it into her hands.

"There! I got it for you! I want you too..."

* * *

Shikamaru sat at inside of the noodle house, tapping the table, nervously. He usually wasn't this nervous but he wanted to make sure everything was perfect. 

"Um, hi…" It was Temari's voice.

"Hey."

She slid into the seat across him. Shikamaru and Temari stared at each other.

Temari looked him over. Under his handsome **( I'm not that much of a Shika fan. Sprite wrote this paragraph) **looks he was a big player. He liked blonds who couldn't fight and who were wimps. He was a big jerk who only cared about himself and not other's feelings. He didn't listen. Yet he invited her to lunch. And she had to admit that was pretty sweet.

Shikamaru was also thinking about Temari, but not in that way. He wondered if she was still mad at him. A hopeful part of him convinced himself that she was not. If she was, then she wouldn't be here right now.

The dry cough of the waitress had snapped Temari and Shikamaru back to reality. They gave their orders and sat in uncomfortable silence. After a couple of moments of slurping and sipping, they still had nothing to say.

However, Shikamaru was thinking how to start up a conversation.

_Ummm...Sorry, for being a jerk. It's just that I love you. __You're the light of my life. You complete me. We share a bond that only people who love each other do. Will you marry me?... I've been watching too many TV dramas...I'm not even that age ... ok...there has have to be something in my smart brain somewhere..._

Few seconds later…….

_I give up..._

While thinking, Shikamaru hadn't noticed that everyone at the noodle house was staring at him. But when he stopped thinking he saw that everyone's eyes were bugging out and jaws were hanging open.

_What did I do? _thought Shikamaru, _Shit! I must have thought out loud! What to do? What to do? _**(Has this ever happened to you before?)**

"Shikamaru….did you mean what you said? asked Temari.

He didn't hear her.His insides seemed to crumble and break into tiny little Shikmaru shards.

"Noooooooooo!" he screamed out loud.

The he covered his mouth with his face filled with horror. Temari smiled weakly and told him, "It's okay if you don't mean it. I'll get over it." She got up and ran away quickly. He could tell that she was going to cry so he ran after her.

"Wait! Temari!" he called after her. **(I know what you're thinking...this happens EVERY time. Be patient with us. First fanfic and all. I'm rather displeased with it as well) **

He quit running because she obviously was not going to stop. Somehow he felt pretty glad that he didn't have to pay the bill. Why did it always end up like this? No matter what he did?

* * *

He laid on his bed tossing a ball up and down and catching it. He was such a dope. He had screwed up again. He acted like a lame jerk who led girls on. 

Suddenly the door burst open and Sakura ran in, clutching her middle and panting.

"Hello?" said Shikamaru, seriously annoyed. "Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Temari is… (pant)...moving…. (pant)…back to the Village of….. (pant) the Sand tomorrow." She gasped, breathing in huge gulps of air.

"WHAT?"

**(hee hee, I love cliffhangers, don't you?) **

* * *

**PLEASE READ...FOR COKE'S SAKE. **

**Yes, believe it or not, this conversation actually happened, only, Sprite was yelling at first. **

**Special Talk between writers (on Coke's randomness) **

**Sprite: I cannot believe you! You publically shamed me in front our reviewers! (See chap 8) I cannot go with Naruto. Hello? Remeber we tried to set up Sung-chan and Josh-chan. That obviously didn't work out. Opposites DO NOT attract!**

**Coke: Hey, breathe Sprite! Breathe! Your face is turning red. It was only a dream I had!**

**Sprite: But still, you dreamed it! I'm nothing like Naruto. I repeat, opposites don't attract!**

**Coke: ****Well, Josh-chan just reminded me of a certain someone. Remember? It took me half an hour to get that...someone on the baby coaster at the amusement park. And opposites really do attract sometimes. **

**Sprite: Hey! I was scared! **

**Coke: Pyeah! Of a baby coaster! And the merri-go-round! And not to mention the-**

**Sprite: Alright! Yeah! That's enough now. We get it! The merri-go-round had pink paint on some of those horses! Pink! Ok? Ok!**

**Coke: So you'll let me make my randomness notes? (see chap 7 and 8)**

**Sprite: ...**

**Coke: Please, pretty please? With cherry on top? -bats eyelashes-**

**Sprite: ...**

**Coke: Pwease? -puppy dog face-**

**Sprite: Must..resist..face...Ok. ****Fine! Under one condition. We have to get four reviews saying that they like your randomness.**

**Coke: Four? That's not fair! I only got two! ****NOOOOOOO! Your sooooooo mean!**

**Sprite: Sucks for you! -sticks out tongue-**

**Coke: -goes off to sulk-

* * *

**


	10. Chapter 10

**READ! READ! READ!**

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto. We only own Naruto in our dreams.

**Coke: **Banzai! Last chapter! Wheeee!

**(blah, blah, blah)- **Coke's little comments.

**Sprite: **Please excuse all the **roma**ntic parts...we're not old enough to have fallen in love. Give us a break.

* * *

"Temari's going back?" Shikamaru gasped. He ran over to where Sakura lay panting and grabbed her shoulders. "She's going back tomorrow, and you tell me this now?" 

"Well, I only found out just now!" Sakura snapped crossly.

"Dammit! I don't have time for this!" Shikamaru yelled. "Where is she?"

"At her house, pack-Shikamaru? Where are you going? Shikamaru!" Sakura called after him. "Wait! Kankuro's over there, and he's pretty pissed! Shikamaru!"

He ignored her and kept running until he got to Temari's house. He knocked hard, and the door opened instantly. Kankuro stood there tall and towering in the doorway. But for once, Shikamaru wasn't even scared. Maybe a little. But not as much as usual.

"You made her cry again!" he roared, spittle flying out of his mouth.

But Shikamaru held his ground. "Yes, and I'm here to apologize. Really apologize this time without any screw-ups," he said rather calmly, although his insides jumping like frogs.

Kankuro, who had obviously not expected this response, was lost for words. And Shikamaru took this to his advantage and pushed past him, into the house and up the stairs.

She was in her room, stuffing the last of her stuff into a suitcase, and was just zipping it closed when Shikamaru marched in. and grabbed her shoulders. Temari looked up in shock, when Shikamaru walked right up to her. Then, he leaned in and kissed her. **(Yeah, I know. Unexpected. Sprite wrote that part. I think it's gross. She thinks it's sweet) **

Temari started to kiss him back, and then realized what she was doing and slapped him hard. **(I wrote this part! Yay! Slap him hard Temari!)**

"What the hell are you doing?" she screamed, shoving him roughly away.

"Bastard! You took advantage of her didn't you?" Kankuro added into her screaming, and made the motion to punch him.

"Wait! I-I-well, I admit that I kissed her, but I didn't do-well, that!" Shikamaru stammered, staring straight into Kankuro's fist. His voice cracked a little in fright. If that punch connected to his face, that would hurt. Badly.

"Kankuro! Get out of my room! I can handle this myself!"

Kankuro looked from his blushing sister to the jerk, and looked like he was about to refuse when Temari roared, "NOW!" pushed him outside, and locked the door.

As soon as they heard Kankuro's steps fade away, she ran right to Shikamaru and slapped him again for good measure. Then she kissed him back on the cheek.

"I've got to make it look like I've beat you up," she whispered huskily **(that is so gross.) **into his ear. "But that kiss was apology enough for me. But we've still gotta talk."

"Yeah. Sure. Okay," Shikamaru said, still dazed by the kiss.

Temari straightened herself up and grinned, "Just let me get my fan, and I'll be right back."

---

Shikamaru took every blow Temari gave him because he felt no pain. He was in a daze, hypnotized by her kiss, even it was a kiss on the cheek.

He sighed with happiness as he took her punch in the stomach.

"Done." Temari said with a satisfied smile.

Shikamaru stumbled down the stairs with a goofy grin which he quickly composed into a grimace of pain when he saw Kankuro.

He sure was a sight to see. Bruises covered his entire body and he had a proud black eye. When he grinned, you could see that two of his teeth had been knocked out.

"I made up with Temari," he announced to Kankuro, who looked displeased but let him go.

He walked out the door with his goofy smile back on his face. Shikamaru gave a little happy skip down the street, only stopping to blow a kiss at her window. She blew a kiss back shyly. **(kill me now) **Kankuro looked at them like they were crazy.

Temari watched him go with a dreamy look in her eyes before he disappeared. She lingered a few more seconds, and then went back to her suitcase.

"I guess that means you're going to stay, aren't you?" Kankuro asked gruffly, watching her unpack.

"Of course I am!"

Kankuro sighed. "Gaara's not going to like this."

"So what? If he has a problem with it, he can stick his sand gourd up his ass," Temari said sharply.

"Well, you have to come back, at least temporarily so you can fill out your papers."

"Papers?" she asked in confusion.

"Temari, you do realize if you're going to live here, you're no longer going to be a ninja of the Sand." **(ooo, he's trying to make her feel guilty!) **

Temari stopped unpacking, realization dawning on her.

"You'd be leaving all of your friends and family behind. Think about it Temari." Kankuro left the room.

* * *

**Coke: Yay! My randomness! Sprite says I had enough people supporting me to write this for my last chapters. I thank you all! You're so nice. Sniff. Sniff. Anyways, you can just skip this...go ahead with the story, whatever. **

**You know what's weird? I hate romance. And yet, here I am writing a romance fic with a friend. And...it's killing me slowly. No, really. You should read what we had here earlier. It was soooo gushy and lovey-dovey that I wanted to hurl. So, Sprite let me go through it and tone it down. Sorry if the ending doesn't quite meet your romance standards, but...it was so gross and disgusting, I just had to erase part of it. Sorry again -sweatdrops-. **

**Before I erased most of the ending, Temari and Shikamaru sounded like something out of Romeo and Juliet. **

**I hath quote, "**What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

My only love sprung from my only hate! Too early seen unknown, and known too late!..."

**Ah, not that severe, but just as mushy. You get my point. **

**I went to this summer camp today, and it was so boring, I thought I would die. If it weren't for my trusty Naruto book I brought with me, I'm sure I would've died. Really. **

**First, we drove for an hour to this park, but it turned out to be closed, so the counslers thought it would be just great if we went to look at this famous fountain. And...it was okay at first, but we spent so much time there, I just roasted in the heat. I must've spent two hours in the hot sun staring at the fountain**

* * *

"Sakura! I can't find her!" he yelled in panic outside of her window. 

She stuck her head out sleepily. "I thought I told you she was leaving today."

"But-but I thought she was going to stay…after last night!"

"Why? What happened last night?" Sakura demanded, wide awake now.

Shikamaru told her, all the while pacing outside in a blind frenzy.

"I'm sorry Shikamaru, but she left early this morning," Sakura said. At least she really did sound sorry.

"It's not fair!" He went back to his house, feeling confused, depressed, and miserable all at the same time. **(awww, poor Shika-kun)**

---

Everyday from since then on, Shikamaru went back to the house Temari had rented to see if she was back. Occasionally, when he was feeling good enough, he would start writing her a letter, but would quit half way and toss it into the trash.

One particular day and he saw the light in Temari's house and barged right in.

"Temari!" he shouted. Only to see an old lady hobble down the stairs.

"Eek! Burglar!" she screeched, and began hitting him with her purse.

"Ow! Ow! I'm not a burglar! I'm not! Ow! Quit it! Ow!"

Somehow he managed to get out and back to his house. After that day, he stopped going back to her house. Maybe it was because he was too depressed at the thought she wasn't there anymore. Or maybe it was just because whenever he went a step into that neighborhood, the old lady would come flying at him with her killer purse full of bricks, yelling, "Burglar! Burglar!"

It was almost as if she spent the whole day watching for him. But whatever the reason, he stopped going. Everyday there was a large black hole in his heart that seemed to empty of him of all happiness. He felt he would never be happy again until he saw her, at least one more time.

---

_Seven months later…_

Shikamaru walked around Kohana feeling sadder than ever as he thought of Temari. He had dreamed about her the other night again. They were in a field of flowers and she was running towards him, and then she disappeared.

As he went back to his dream, he could actually see Temari running towards him. It seemed so real. He could see she was laughing, and she was coming closer.

But it wasn't a dream. It was Temari.

Then, she was right there. Crushing him with her hug, and making it hard to breathe. But he didn't care. She was real.

"I'm so sorry I had to leave without saying goodbye!" she cried when they finished their embrace. **(gah! Too romantic for my liking, but oh well. It is a romance fic. I knew it would have to come to this soon.)**

"Why'd you leave Temari? I missed you."

"I missed you too! But it took so long to fill out the papers," she said, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Papers?" he asked, puzzled.

"Yes! So I can be a Kohana ninja. So I can be here with you. I think Gaara made all those delays on purpose."

"You did that for me?"

"Of course silly! I love you!" **(I'm...dying)**

"I love you too Temari. Will you be my girlfriend?"

"Yes!"

They hugged again, and shared a kiss before heading to eat lunch together and catch up on all they had missed. **(And I'm dead. Come to my funeral) **

THE END

* * *

**Coke: Yeah...the ending is a little rushed. Sprite blames me for that. But...there has to be someone out there who finds romance as gross as I do right? Right? **


End file.
